


Concrete City

by yukisirius



Series: Stranger in Strange Land [1]
Category: Yoroiden Samurai Troopers | Ronin Warriors
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:41:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21716842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukisirius/pseuds/yukisirius
Summary: Ryo struggling to find his place in a modern world no longer needs either his skill or his heart....actually a Happily-Ever-After Advent story :)
Relationships: Date Seiji | Sage Date/Sanada Ryou | Ryo Sanada
Series: Stranger in Strange Land [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565251
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3





	1. Dawn-Sniffing Plane-Walker

The new academic year began.

Touma enrolled in University Waseda in Tokyo like Shin did, joined institute Astrophysics with Doctor Yayu's family friend in charge.  
Despite Shin's not-so-subtle protest, Touma insisted on living in a two stores properties in suburban, out of the reason rather having his own space for research and burrowing. Although Touma does come over to Shin's place during the weekend at least every two weeks, and seldom comes in the campus for classes at all. 

Seiji has inherited the Date dojo, and stays in Sentai.

Shu stays in Yokohama at first, preferring helping out with the family business in restaurant. Later though, constant persuasion from Nasti and Shin apparently worn him down. Shu's been preparing for University entrance exams for months now, hoping to get into a decent Geography program, or Accounting, or Culinary Art.

Touma smirked at his decision-of-non-decision, saying this outlook of future is indeed bright enough, himself been childed then by Nasti and Shin instead.  
Nobody knows where they are going at first, we have to try out and make mistakes. Shin pointed out.  
Shu's always welcomed to come to Paris with me and enroll program in Culinary Art there if he prefers. Nasti said. Actually, Ryo's welcomed as well, if he...

Ryo's drifted out of the academic world and human society entirely after high school.  
Just like Shu, Ryo got his fair share of persuasion. Everyone, including Jun, has given him the TALK about future careers. Seiji suggested a position as a trainer of Kendo; Shu, to everyone's surprise, proposed Dance; Nasti advised the Major of News, such as becoming a wildlife photographer like Ryo's father does. Shin and Touma were plotting to find him a part-time job at university first, preferably in library or cafeteria, to lure him into the academic environment again -- or at least to keep him close.  
Ryo simply disappeared after finished a month job helping out in Shu's family restaurant.  
Nasti was the last one who has ever talked with him, before the young archaeologist left Japan for a researcher's position in La Sorbonne.

Six months past, Tokyo transformed from spring to summer, to fall, then into its winter. No trace of Ryo in the human world has been detected.

Once on a cold night, as Touma looked up from his book, through the high window, he saw a figure standing in the shadow of lanterns far away from the library building.  
For a startled second Touma thought he saw Kaos again, for that figure clad in samurai's clothes from the past, with conical bamboo hat deeply covered his face. But looked closer, the figure turned out to be a person burrowed in dark-colored coat, like any other student in the university in this season.  
The figure didn't even look up, although they were indeed facing Touma's direction.  
For some reason - maybe from the way they carry their body - Touma thought he saw Ryo.  
But as Touma called out Ryo's name - that person didn't answer. As Touma rushed out of the building, the person's gone.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Then two months later, out of nowhere, Ryo showed up on a snowing evening.

He has knocked, despite the fact that every trooper has a key for each other's flat.

Touma groans, goes to the door reluctantly, absentmindedly convinced it must be some classmate who's desperate enough to beg him for help on the final project, just at the night he's decided to ditch everything and enjoying the snowy night's tranquility.  
\- Surprise isn't sufficient to describe Touma's shock, as he sees Ryo standing at his doorway.

"Hey." Ryo flashes an awkward smile.  
Touma's eyes go wide.

"..."  
Touma's eyes then lined. Once Ryo starts to shift on his feet, a sly smile appears on Touma's lips, thoroughly enjoying Ryo's obvious embarrassment.  
"...It's not nice to force others to beg."  
Ryo worries his lips, a little annoyed by Touma's smirk.  
"You deserve it."  
Touma snorts, pulls him in, "Come on. You are letting out all the warmth."

Ryo's skin feels freezing, hasn't even bottomed up his coat. Touma frowns.  
But the coat isn't the main problem here, at least not for someone who has dropped out of the human world for half a year and reappeared like a ghost. So Touma decides he could wait for Ryo to explain himself, before throwing him out to Shin and Shu for mothering.

A warm bath would also be a sensible idea.

So Touma pushes Ryo to the bathroom, meets no protest at all.  
At least Ryo'd be willing to stay overnight. This thought calms down Touma's nerves a little.

...Ryo's back. They will be hanging out and butting heads again. 

Suddenly, his messy and lack of human touch apartment feels like been lit by the warmth of firelight.

\-------------------

Touma leaves towels and pajamas at the doorway, Ryo's shower takes a long time, which is not a surprise at all. Ryo usually takes really long showers which eating out all hot water - Rekka's rather bathed in lava, after all.  
Touma's smirk widens, as Ryo steps in the studio room again, steaming, hair damp, in his baggy sleep-gown. Himself's sitting in the gigantic bean bag, Ryo walks over and sits on the beans as well, murmuring some nonsense about Touma has the most comfortable couch of them all.

...Actually, everyone else's has a real sofa. But Touma grins wickedly and lets it slip. Instead, he pulls Ryo further in until both of them sinking deeply in the fabric, with Touma leaning on the smaller boy's shoulder from behind.

An English documentary's on TV, some program Touma has recorded about space exploration led by NASA in the past. From experience Touma bets Ryo couldn't understand half of it. But Touma could be pesty in ordinary days outside battle and never changes the channel for conversation's sake, and he knows Ryo respects this, even prefers watching nonsense programs with him together.

As expected, there's no protest nor attempts to make small talk. Ryo just sitting there, been half- hugged from the back, watching the program he struggles to follow. The higher-than-normal body warmth calms down Touma further before he notices, Touma falls asleep before midnight.

Then, dreams come.  
Touma dreams about the same snowing night, cuddling with Ryo on his futon. Ryo's high on fever, snarling at the invisible Yoja solders around, as if him alone has been trapped in the spirit world, fighting endlessly just like any demon they encountered in the past war.

Touma turns, proceeds further in the dream world.

He dreams about living as a lord in a mirage world of Feudal Era, about watching Ryo carrying a warrior's dead body, walking towards him, blue eyes unfocused. And he's raising up a golden bow, pointing the sharp point of his demon-destroyer at Ryo's heart. In the distance, he hears Shin's scream.

Touma wakes up from nightmares with a jerk.  
Some thing's wrong. He thinks. They are still a heap on his bean bag, under his chin, Ryo's sleeping still.  
Ryo's body's way too warm even for Rekka, he's burning up, his breathing's quite laboured, sweating, frowning, restive.  
Touma curses.  
How could he fail to pick up signs of illness earlier?  
Well, he's been caught by surprise when Ryo showed up, overjoyed, and the other boy was steaming from the hot shower.  
He was busy to soak himself in Ryo's warm presence, too busy to notice a fever shouldn't be there.  
To make it worse, Touma knows he couldn't even take Ryo's temperature, least to say to send the other boy to the hospital for help. Rekka in a fever would have a temperature so high that normal people could be dead.  
No help from outsiders then.

"Ryo?"  
Touma tries to shake the other boy awake, noticing in dismay that Ryo's rather small under his hands. A couple of hours ago he smirked at the sight of Ryo's hands and feet disappearing under his gown, now, Touma frowns because Ryo would be the smallest among them all now, almost looks like his body chooses to remain at the height when he was sixteen. (The grow burst which hit all the others seems to miss him, not due to the Kikotei's armor, more like the negative consequence of childhood and teenage's the undernourishment) 

Touma used to enjoy towering over Ryo, just to see him annoyed. The intimacy of act soothes Touma's nerve greatly after Ryo practically committed suicide to bring down Arago.

But now, Touma loathes the sight of Ryo being small and ill.

"Wake up, Ryo!"  
Touma shakes the boy's shoulders again, cursing louder. Ryo gives no response, only shivering all over. 

Biting his lip, Touma gives up attempts to solve the problem by using force. Clumsily, he untangles their limbs, gets himself out of the bean and hauls Ryo to his futon, the make-shift bed located on the other side of the studio room, close to the windowsill, and tugs him in a bundle of duvets as gentle as possible.

"...You think a prince's kiss of true love would wake you up?"  
Triggered by the surreal experience of the night, Touma asks with a weary look, softly.

Ryo only groans in agony, turns restively under blankets. 

Running a hand through face, Touma closes his eyes in despair. The snow's still falling, he can hear the sound and smell the fresh sweetness in the air. But the room isn't tranquil anymore. Ryo's unusual fever turned it into an unnerving quietness.  
The dreadful silence.

He needs help.  
Touma decides, wincing already.  
Since Touma has long established his notorious name for being capriciously bothering Shin and Nasti in an ungodly hour, he only hopes that Shin wouldn't start yelling at him before he has a chance to explain.

"...Let's summon the knights then, and hold on to the hope that one of them is the one."  
Touma tells Ryo, makes a face and dials.


	2. Plodder Through Midnight Snow

Shin did yell, spitting out rapid sentence after sentence like daggers, before Touma snapped and yelled back.   
Luckily, Shin managed to keep a level head, quickly and calmly promised to bring medicine over right now, after informed other guys.   
As Touma bids him a safe way crossing the city, hangs up the phone, sweats are beading down his cheeks. He's been keeping an eye on Ryo all the way during the phone call, who's turning restlessly and whining under layers of duvets. 

Lacking useful things to do, Touma reserves to bring back a towel, a flash of spirit and a pan of water, peels off his own pajama from Ryo and begins to swipe the flushed body with the wet towel. Ryo's shuddering becomes worse as alcohol-soaked towel touches his hot skin, groaning as if he's in a battle against Yoja solders.

In his head he probably is. 

Touma thinks of his own nightmare.

The honey colour skin under the gown remains the same, but as Touma wipes over it he can detect scars. Not horribly scrawling all over, but thin, white scars around Ryo's torso, across shoulders, chest, shaped as if they were burnt in by enemies. There're also white scares on his shoulder as if some tissues were eaten out by acid, white flecks on his limbs...well, those are from Sarambo.

The one really hurt to see, are those he and his friends have left.

Blades of air, bolts of thunder, torrents and earth-quaking power they've wielded to strike down Arago also slit Ryo to pieces. Nobody knew Jade of Life would work to protect Ryo, nobody's eager to figure out why or how. Not even Touma, the bear of Tenku with Wisdom flashing on his temple; or Nasti, the born researcher driven by his curiosity all the time.  
In fact, Touma'd rather wake up at seven o'clock every morning than to go any nearer to find that particular truth.

The Archer's hand trembles, following the scars they've left. 

One more minute. Touma thinks. One more minute and Shin would come, with Seiji and Shu the morning after. Together they will figure out what's going on with Ryo. 

Hold on. He clutches to that thought as if a prayer. To Ryo. Or to himself.   
Hold on.

\-----------------------------------

As Shin opens the door, an hour and a half have passed since the call.  
He's running out of medicine, and been slowed down by the snow.   
Luckily, Shin's the only one who could maintain calmness when Ryo's injured or ill -- It's unlikely that Ryo's fever would kill him in the immediate future, and Shin would be of no help if he got himself in a traffic accident first in his hurry to come over.

The light's off.  
The dim shining comes from a TV set, illuminating the two silhouettes down the windowsill. Ryo's turning in silence, and Touma who's sitting on the floor is still. The room is frozen.  
The falling snow outside is the only hint of the flow of time.

"...Touma?"   
Shin asks, tentatively. Touma's head jerks up as if waking up from a spell. "--Shin! You are --"  
" -- Finally here. With medicine. I also brought changing clothes, ice patches, food. Seiji and Shu will be here with the first trains tomorrow."   
Unpacking everything on the table, Shin picks up a clean towel and a patch, walks over to the futon. 

"How's he?"

"...With a temperature so high that normal people would be dead? Managed to make him swallow down some water earlier and he's sweating now." 

Touma answers wearily. Ryo's barely conscious, but at least responsive enough to open lips when cup's nudging and swallows down the liquid -- with difficulty, as if it wasn't water, but acid.   
Still, according to Jun, when Ryo's really beaten up at the verge of death in Africa, he couldn't even take in the herbs. Being able to swallow is a good sign. Touma tells himself.

For a brief moment, after he drank some water, Touma thought Ryo's eyes were focused on him, glassy.  
He looked scared, was Touma's first reaction. Then he laughed at the thought. He must be under the influence of his own nightmare still. How could Ryo be scared? He's never be scared facing the entire Yoja world.  
As if to prove him right, a smile spreading out on Ryo's face, Ryo then reached out to grab his hand, hard, like iron claw biting around his palm.

Maybe he's still in delusion, locked in endless fighting.

Touma thought.

...Or he really has something to tell.

After all, Ryo wouldn't show up for no reason after disappeared for almost six months, wouldn't he?

"He will pull through this. He always did."   
Shin's hand's on his shoulder, the steadiness in it startles Touma out of his thoughts. "I will take over for a while, have some rest."  
Too shaken to argue, Touma nods and heads towards his bean. "...Call me in two hours." He grumbles before collapses in the makeshift couch.  
How could Ryo say this is the best couch with a straight face.   
Touma wonders, before the sleep pulls him under.

\-----------------------------------------

Of course Shin lets them both sleep.

There's no need to wake up Touma -- nothing changes. Touma needs to catch up with some sleep so that he could be on call the next night, and Shin has no problem to watch Ryo until dawn, until Shu or Seiji shows up.

Shin watches them both, suffering restively in their own nightmares, whereas out of the gigantic window, snow falling silently from the crimson sky.

Time ticks slowly.

The dawn falls and slowly, the room's being filled up with white light. Shin can see clearer and clearer what Ryo has become:   
thinner, paler, still compact, but hasn't grown taller as everyone else did -- actually, Shin recalls with worry that Ryo hasn't been growing for one or two years. They used to be roughly at the same height. But now Shin's sure that Ryo's the smallest among all five of them, maybe even a head lower than Touma and Shu, who have grown into giants the last year.

"...Where have you been, Ryo?" 

Gently brushes over a damp lock on the sick boy's temple, Sin whispers. The reaction he received is unexpectedly violent -- Ryo shivers allover and flinches.

Shin bits his lip, eyes grow hard.

\--------------------------------------

Half an hour later, Shu rushes through the door.

"Why in Arago's name is Ryo here?!" is the first sentence bursts out of Shu's mouth. Shin throws him a nasty look, looking pointedly at Touma. 

Shu winces. Lucky for him, it takes more than a curse to wake up Hashiba Touma in the early morning.  
The exhausted genius is still soundly sleeping in his dis-formed bean bag.

Shu goes directly across the room to where the futon is lying beneath the window. Ryo burrows in a cave made of duvets, sweats bearding down so heavily that Shin's already given up the effort to wipe them off.

"What's happened? How's he? Where has he been?" Shu whispers, taking in the unhealthy flush on Ryo's pale cheeks.   
Shin shakes his head. "...Touma called me before I called you, all we know is he showed up here the evening before, just after snow began to fall, and Touma woke up early found him having a fever...Touma didn't get much out of him yet."

"..Bastard." Shu curses, grabbing Ryo's hand, tears welling up. "Stupid - Suicidal bastard. Where have you been all these months? Why not come to us?"  
Ryo whimpers, frowning in unconsciousness. Shu squeezes his hand, hard, Ryo's eyebrows furrow, and squeezes back. 

Shin chuckles. "Well, that's answered the question, he's still here with us."

"Bastard." Shu growls again, softly, squeezing Ryo's hand once more.

They change shift: Shin goes to sleep for a while in the sleeping bag he bought. Among all of them, Shu's the only one Shin could trust to take care of a patient -- has taken over the role repeatedly while growing up with four younger siblings, watching over his sick baby sister or brother with a broken arm makes you qualified.  
Besides, with the first train from Sendai to Tokyo, Seiji would arrive soon.

"All my family's up last night, even the little one refused to go to bed and wanted to see if the Ryo-Ni-Chan's okay." Shu whispers, to Ryo 's unconscious form. "They miss you since last Spring Break. So you'd better wake up soon and come back. You own them this. "

The snow only falls heavier than before, gradually becoming a snowstorm. The last thought in Shu's mind is that he wishes Seiji wouldn't be caught either in a train or in the subway. And he wishes Seiji would have enough common sense to take the subway instead of calling a taxi which would cost a regular citizen an arm -- or worse, decided to drive down in his flashy sports car. With Seiji, all is possible.

He soon falls in an exhausted sleep, eventually misses it as Seiji charges in the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The height of everyone is a reference to the picture at the end of Message 5: All five of them standing in a line and Ryo's clearly the shortest.


	3. Question Me Again

Ryo dreams of Seiji, running, geared up in sub-armor, pulsing light resembles the life green. Against dawn's dark and falling snow, those armor-clad feet left no trace on the white ground. If there are any mad cars trying to drive in this weather, all they could possibly perceive would be passed by a green gale.

Ryo can see Seiji's shining hair, falling snow becomes steam already before they can properly cover those golden straits. Seiji's hands feel cold -- Ryo was surprised that he can feel it, somehow in the dream, his heart 's beating with Seiji's and his mind huddling in Seiji's mind -- calm, steady, focused like blade before a match begins, a place Ryo suddenly decides as his favourate place to wander, to dwell forever if possible.  
If he's permitted.  
That mind keeps calling out a name. His name.

Ryo.

Seiji's mind is calling.

Ryo suddenly realizes this is not a dream. It might be their crystals' power are linking them together again, or because he's the bear of Rekka which once absorbed all the others, power, and will, summoned Kikotei, and never separated completely thereafter. Through the link, Seiji is speaking to him directly, mind to mind. 

Ryo. He calls, over and over.

Ryo wakes up violently, finds himself staring right into the violet eye of the blond warrior. Seiji looks like he has just entered the door after running a marathon. His golden hair a shade darker than usual, completely damp, hasn't released the sub-armor yet.

"Seiji..." 

Ryo tries to speak, words spit out like knife cutting through his swollen throat. "Yoroi..."

"--This?" Seiji looks puzzled, then gets what Ryo's pointing at, "-- the fastest means to get to you from the north, I believe. Besides, it helps me to concentrate on capturing your mind."

"...I heard you." Ryo smiles, peace-offering, which has been perceived but not accepted.

"...Good."

Seiji's radiating an aura of hidden passion which is borderline anger now. A brooding frustration Ryo recognizes to aim at his recent behavior and does not wish to poke the dragon's only eye left, not now.

"...Guys? Where are they?" Ryo tries again, "thought I heard Shin's voice..."

"Upstairs. Or at least Touma and Shin are. I sent them to get some rest. Shu's out for medicine and food to stock up, if there are any insane shops still opening today." 

Seiji answers, almost emotionless. 

Ryo shuts his eyes, bracing himself up.

"...Say whatever you're going to say, Seiji. You are not the brooding type."

"You are quite right about that I am not the bottom-up type. Unfortunately, that is what you are."   
Seiji states, blunt as usual, although his voice not harden yet, Ryo, though, winces at the tone already. In the past, all those years they knew each other, Seiji's awkwardly gentle and uncharacteristically cheerful when speaking to him, this raw tone, the blond usually reserves for Shu or Touma alone.

"It has been five months and three weeks, Ryo. And I'm sure Shin can even count the days you've been missing, left not a trace in this world, with nobody knew where you have been. Even Byakuen's gone." 

Seiji continues, voice lower. "May I ask what you've been doing during this time?"

Now Ryo wishes Shin to be here, or Shu. Neither of those two would allow Seiji keeping on this prosecution or interrogating while he's still riding on a high fever.   
Touma, though, might even cheer Seiji up. But then, Touma all of people, is the ruthlessly-pushing-for-truth-type, not Seiji, not forcing a truth out of him.

So Ryo does the best he can -- lowering his eyelids says, "...Nothing worthy of mention."

"Not anything physically." Seiji says.

Startled, Ryo looks up, Seiji's stares are hard now, to the point of terrifyingly freezing. "...You really think, that I will sense nothing, if a connection to Yojakai has been attempted and succeeded? Or that I would not reach out, calling for help from lady Kayura, just to make sure that you were doing all right on the other side? Are we merely the casual acquaintance to each other now, Ryo? Or do you doubt my capacity of emphasizing with you?"

Ryo's rendered speechless by shame. He was half-heartedly expecting a warm, fuzzy heart-to-heart from Shin, but Shin, unlike Seiji, would hardly push anyone except for himself to the breaking point.  
Worse still, Seiji knew about his wandering in Yojakai.   
At his darkest moments, as he was sure that this modern world no longer needs either his skills, heart, or his mountains and Byakuen, Ryo called for the gates and entered the spirit world. He wasn't actually thinking what he would do on the other side when he did it for the first time, and wasn't serious about to be never-coming-back, or worried about lost in that side -- with Byakuen as his guide, this would never happen, at least not unconsciously. He was only curious, about words Shuten once said, in regarding of a warrior's constant fighting in Yojakai and was half-heartedly tempted to see whether there would be a lifestyle suitable for him.

Lady Kayura and other Mashos were startled at first. Half amused after. As Ryo entered for the fourth and more time with barely focused eyes, they became worried. Ryo, sensed their increasing concern and sick of his purposeless trips, ceased his wandering completely, chose to stay in Kai's mountain for a while instead until the longing for his friends finally overwhelmed his irritation and doubt towards his own meaningless existence.

He'd never tell any of them he once wondered if he could just dwell in Yojakai, like another Masho. Like Shuten would be, had he survived.

But now, Seiji knows -- Gods forbid what else Seiji knows from Lady Kayura already, and clearly takes in his silence as a bad sign, even as a secret resolution made. He has to do something, before --

Ryo's sickened by the thought, rushes in to explain. Something on his face or in his eyes though, must have revealed his intention already, because Seiji interrupts him again. 

"I was indeed thinking, that you showed up, because you wanted the last goodbye tour, before moving to Yojakai completely." the blond says, quietly, "...But I no longer think so. I think now, Ryo, that even you have no idea what are you going to do in either of worlds, and that acknowledge alone is unacceptable to you. You will not allow yourself to settle, not bear with the idea to have peace, not until you find it, the meaning of your continuing existence in somewhere."

Seiji stops, as he speaks again, his tone sincere and soft, close to a whisper.

"...This world doesn't need your swords anymore, Ryo."

Ryo lowers his head at it. That's it, his cue. He knows it all the time, still, it hurts to actually hearing it coming from someone like Seiji.   
But the blond hasn't finished yet.

"...None of our skills is needed in this city, as a matter of fact."

"...Yet as a fellow human, we need your heart -- all four of us, your fellow warriors, your friends, we need to know yours is there, so that we can figure out paths and hearts of our own."   
Seiji whispers, flatly at first, then his tone becomes even softer.

Ryo doesn't dare to look up this time. There's something unexpected in Seiji's last words, they bring back hope and a strange fuzzy feeling, which is a rare thing in recent years. Yet those words only strengthen his doubt: His friends put too much faith in him, always have been and always will. Will he ever be worthy of this trust? What can he possibly offer in return?  
What Seiji does next, though, completely catch him out of the guard.

Seiji reaches out to grab his hand, holding it in both of his own, looking directly into Ryo's eyes which looking up now in surprise.   
Seiji's expression is dark, eyebrows furrowed, now resembling someone deeply troubled. Ryo can hardly recognize that calm, collected sword-man is the same one half-kneeling in front. Something has been torturing his friend for a long time and Ryo suddenly realizes that somewhere, somewhen, something in Seiji has been snapped.

Seiji inhales, face twisted in agony, then continues.

"...Your aura's disappeared, Ryo, and that forced me to think... I have come to know you since I was fourteen, we have grown up together, our armours, power, our hearts, all together. To us, to me, your presence has been a constant. I've grown to be accustomed to your presence, grown into loving you, into being obsessed with your health constantly, feeling at ease when and only when I'm sure that you are safe and around..."

"Touma, Shin, Shu, we are all like that, as if that is an instinct imprinted in our nature. "

"So that is what I was thinking," 

Seiji 's voice damp and cold.

"Maybe I don't need you. Just like you've clearly decided not to need us, not to need me. Even alone, I can keep living in this world, as the Heir of Date."

"Maybe if we could stay separated, stay normal for a longer period, this habit would be gone by itself."

"I have my place on this side, after all, my family and everything in my city to protect."

Startled by this outburst and declaration, Ryo lowers his gaze in resent.   
He wishes Seiji could stop and let him go, so that he could call the gates again and disappear, so that his fate can finally be sealed, just like Seiji, and doubtlessly everyone else has already decided on their respective roads in a world with no place no role left for him.  
...So he misses Seiji's expression.

"It's been six months, Ryo."  
\-- Seiji suddenly smiles, in a way only dawn can do, piercing through fog, radiating scorchingly upon misty mountains.  
"I've found out that I've been right about I can live without you. Yet, I've also found out that my heart feels more content, calmer, happier since your aura has returned. Confused as it is, your return lightened up my world."

Ryo's barely in time to see the warmth sparkling in Seiji's violet eye, radiating like a night star.

Seiji's next line completely short-circles his brain.  
"I've realized that I love you, Ryo, always have and still do, in the way that I wish that we could be living together until this journey ends."

Fireworks exploding in Ryo's brain, in his dizziness, something wet touches his lips.  
Seiji peeks on his lip, then presses their foreheads together.

"...Remember your way home...and this time, don't forget to say goodbye before you leave."

Ryo's surprised that he actually heard every word of Seiji's declaration with his heart pounding so wildly in his chest.  
One melt snowflake drops from a shimmering strand, upon Ryo's face, as if it was a drop of tear.

Awaken to reality as bizarre as a good dream, Ryo grabs one of Seiji's hand, palm to palm, finger lacing with finger, Ryo tries to give his answer when the chance presents.  
"...I'm not going back to Yojakai again. Seiji. Not this time. Not if -- actually, I'm --" 

\-- At that unfortunate moment, Shin pokes his head in, so Seiji never gets the answer to his declaration.  
Although neither of them has a clear idea about what he has just declared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As would be shown in the next chapter: I've been following canon TV series, OVAs, CDs and Tapes mostly, however in this AU, Nasti Yayu is a male and Jun a girl. This choice of wanting a gender-bending version of them started from an inspiring drawing on Tumblr featuring a female Ryo and a male Nasti, which made me think -- as an Archaeologist myself, I know for a fact how difficult it could be for a female to pursue a career in Archaeology back in '80s, being a European hybrid or not. As a female, Nasti in the canon's more like a convenient plot-filler to me than a developed character ... I don't know, it just feels right and more realistic to me to make him a young man and set off on his own.  
> Also, in canon, Jun's clearly considered as the protege of Ryo, or representative of the next generation (End of Message 5) -- why it has to be a boy again? It might make sense to people in the '80s, '90s, but now?  
> For the record, I did try to figure out what should be Nasti's true French name so that I can use a corresponding male version of that-- since Yayu is a famous Japanese one, but failed...  
> As for Jun, Jun-Ko should be the obvious choice, convenient and actually used in the real world. Yet it doesn't sound as powerful as a simple Yamano Jun...boy or girl, they are still the kid getting separated from parents because of a skateboard to me. Hence, both of their names stuck around.


	4. Boys in the Attic

"Move over." 

Touma shoves Ryo on the shoulder. Ryo grumbles, voice quiet but clear.  
"Your futon's too small for two."

"That's MY bed."

"The one you dig out only because I'm here."

Touma laughs, spreading his arm around Ryo's shoulders. "I see. Shu's siblings really did rub off on you. You've never talked back before."

Ryo rolls his eyes.

"-- And it must be Shin's fault too, I guess."

Ryo snorts, turns off the lamp he was using for reading. The attic becomes pitch black at that instant, it takes a couple of second for their eyes to adjust to the darkness.

...And then, slowly, exceedingly, one by one, stars begin to shine through.

\---------------

It has been two weeks since Ryo's shown up at Touma's front door in a stormy night, the sort of weather Ryo hates most, soaked to bones, no word exchanged with any other for at least six months straight.

It has been barely a week since Ryo finally shook off his fever. By then, the forced bedridden already made Ryo a disagreeable kitten, Touma once burst into a current of breathless laughter as he saw Shin tried to persuade Ryo to swallow down pills and Ryo viciously refused. Heard his laughter, Ryo gave him a look which highly resembled a Byakuen in indignity, gulped down the pills in one go.

Ryo stays, at Touma's flat after that dramatic start. Knowing his dislike to western-styled mattress, Touma dragged out another futon so that Ryo could bunk up in the attic -- a weird choice of room, made by Ryo himself, so that he "could be close to open air".   
Touma shrugged at the reason, but placed the spare futon where he wanted anyway. 

As a result, Touma barely sees Ryo all day, unless if he decides to go up attic for stargazing.

Deep down, Touma guesses that's the exact reason Ryo chose the attic: so that he could be with himself, undisturbed.  
Isolated from the people care about you, from the world keeps dragging you in, just leaving you and your problem alone in an isolated room, leaving you all day to ponder, but no in a hurry to solve it soon.  
If there's anyone understands the urge, that must be Touma.

So he left Ryo to it.

...Well, he also left his bookshelves and GAMEBOYs.

What Ryo has been reading, though, isn't anything Touma would have expected. Among all the books Touma keeps in the house, Ryo digs out the historical monographs which Touma collected when he firstly coming across the issue of Yoroi's legend, and later again when he needed references to figure out the truth behind the scripts in from Edo era.

And one day, as Touma climbs up the attic, Ryo raises his face -- full of trace of dried tears and asking -- with surprisingly calm voice -- "...Touma. There isn't actually one person as Sanada Yukimura, is it?"

...So Ryo's been busy himself with their ancestors, and among all things, he has to pick up that -- Touma's eyes thinning and curses.   
Ryo says again. "Yours - they are real person, right? Mine, however, hadn't even been created in Feudal era, he wasn't -- WE are not actually existing in the real world, he's just a character in a novel with only a family name 's real --"

"--Like Hell you are not!"

\-- Ancestors imagined or real -- Touma sighs long-suffering, before jumps on the futon to explain more about the twisted legend of Sanada's problematic roots.  
...Ryo's upset reaction already shows that this must be a heart-broken long night.

\------------------------------------------------

"Shu has been asking about you today."   
Touma climbs up the attic through stairs. Ryo raises up his head to look at him for a second, then wordlessly lowers it back. Touma chuckles, steps close, placing a bento he bought on Ryo's head.

"Correction: Shu has been complaining about you, endlessly, ranting. So I put the phone away from my suffering ear."

Ryo takes over the bento, opens it, picking up chopsticks quietly and begins to eat. Touma scans around, seeing his old astrophysical books are scattering on the floor this time. There are also two high stacks of books borrowed from the local libraries and universities. Most of them concerning the Feudal era's history, one or two are monographs about humanity.

Touma cleans his throat.  
"--Anyway. Call Shu yourself at some point this week. The Huang family is waiting for your updates, apparently."

"...I will. Don't worry." Ryo lowers his head even more, almost buries entirely in the bento. Touma finds an empty glass, fills in water, placing it in front of Ryo, himself also sits down beside the raven head. 

Suddenly, Touma laughs softly.  
"Shin said that you had once read through his textbooks too, as if trying to decide if marine biology is suitable for you as well."

"..."

"You should live with Shu for a couple of months too. Then, we will have an encyclopedia graduated."

Ryo shoves him this time. "...Shut up. I will call them both."

"Eat your bento."

\----------------------------------------

Touma always turns off the lights after he goes up to the attic --To observe the stars like he always does, he claims, before Ryo budged in.  
Ryo never protests, even if he has been reading when Touma comes up. Ryo would put away whatever tome he is going through, lying down, staring at the sky side by side with Touma.

As if what he has been doing isn't important.

As if he is lost, scared -- but Touma has no idea he's afraid of what.

\------------------------------------------

"The fish miss you." 

Shin smiles, and is relieved to see at least there's an answering smile reflected on Ryo's face, paler than before due to less exposure to open air, yet alive still. Ryo's lip quirks up, spelling out a string of names which belong to his little friends living in Shin's home sea; beside them, Shu and Touma are busy playing Touma's red and green GAMEBOYs connected through a cable.   
Touma bought them back as a way to seduce Ryo playing Pokemon gathering. Ryo tried with vigorous effort as usual, before admitting awkwardly that taming and training virtual animals are way difficult than befriending a real one. Touma shrugged and shook his head, let him off the hook.

A call to Shu becomes a small get-together, arranged by Touma and Shu, Ryo hasn't even picked up the phone. Touma complains being a nurse now, Shin gave him a withering look and automatically took over his usual role of babysitter. 

But Touma was right. Because at this side of the world, I am useless.

Ryo thought, bitterly, then was surprised by the bitterness in his own mind. 

Since when he becomes this self-pity? 

Since when he wants to avoid his friends, especially Shin, Shu or Nasti, who outrageously shows their concern? Staying with Touma's much easier choice. As for Seiji...

I am afraid to face Seiji now.   
Ryo thought. But what he blunts out to Shin instead, is, "...I am afraid."  
"I wish to stay. Even to enrol a program as you guys do. I wish... to belong to this world, your world."

"But I don't know what to do."

"I don't know where I can go. I don't know how -- "

"Shhh -- Ryo..."  
Shin raises his hand to wipe away a tear rolling down Ryo's cheek. Ryo looks at his hand startled, ashamed, afraid.   
If there's one thing Shin cannot bear to see, is tears of dismay, especially dismay shown on his family, his brothers.

"Shin -- I am weak."

"--You are many things, Sanada Ryo, a foolhardy fool first and foremost. Anything but weak." Shin snorts, gives Ryo's head an upside-down smash. Ryo breaks into sobbing laughter. 

"It will work out -- no Ryo, don't argue-- I have faith in you. In all of us together. We stick with each other, and we find a way out for everyone. Us together."

Shin's voice's softer but firm. His own faith stays unaltered after Susunagi.  
He just couldn't be certain if that's enough to convince Ryo.

\------------------------------------------

Winter deepens. Touma designs and builds up a heating system for the attic, with Shu's help. Ryo protests that he doesn't need extra warmth, for fire is, after all, his element. Touma dismisses him, stating the heater is for himself, for the attic is HIS observatory for planets and stars, Ryo just happens to burrow in there. Ryo laughs out at the excuse, the heater is there three days later.

Ryo was speaking the truth about not fearing the coldness though, as long as he's not drawn in the ocean or in a storm. Warmth only works to reduce him to sleep. As a result, Touma gets to see him sleep more often, and is a little surprised to see him sleep around naked.  
Sometimes, Touma even sees Ryo stays sitting up naked, staring at stars.

"...I remember you sleep in an old-fashioned shirt." Touma comments, blinks after the mock-fight for the quilt. Ryo looks sheepish but unrepentant, stubbornly tiles up his head. "...I was just out of the mountain, and tried to behave like a normal human."

"And now? No need to behave since you are a reclined hermit?"   
Touma doesn't even look at Ryo, simply yawns and burrows himself in the quilt, pressing his pyjama-clad body into Ryo's bare skin, as if they are puppies in a basket. Against him, Ryo's limbs feel relaxed, not hiding, not flinching, even pressing back in the intimacy as well.   
"...Now I miss Byakuen and the mountains." Ryo says, after a while. "...And now I no longer think acting like everyone else is necessary, or of any help."

\--------------------------

"You need the world and people around you, need human society." Nasti signed. To which Ryo stubbornly kept silent, only legs swayed a little. 

They were sitting in a fast-food restaurant, drinking soft drinks, which neither of them -- the French scholar or the boy from mountains -- actually like.  
Nasti just presumed that young people nowadays usually like this, thus chose the place. Ryo simply stayed tacit, as if he had nothing to say concerning the topic.

"I'm not saying that your mission as a soldier has completely ended, or the lifestyle you have chosen becomes meaningless now -- "   
Nasti tried again.

"It is ended. It is meaningless now."  
Ryo stopped him, calmly stated.

"--Ryo."

"..."

Nasti sighed. "Ryo. People's life's changing all the time. But you are not alone in this. It's not just you being here, feeling like this, ever. Go out. See your piers. Talk to them, or to those older than you if that calms you down -- Go out to universities. You will find something there."

"I'm not a researcher."

"My grand would beg pardon."   
Nasti snapped. 

Ryo smiled.

Nasti snorted.   
Prof. Yayu said once Ryo's a focused child, which is the basic quality of a researcher, in Nasti's opinion. Plus Ryo has a tendency to over-think everything, which gives him a touch of philosopher's soul. 

\-- The old man also said that although being quite insightful, Ryo's conclusions usually have been drawn from instinct instead of logical analysis and deduction. Nasti chose to ignore those comments now though, and concentrated to drag Ryo out of the nowhere-plane he's hiding. If not in academia, Ryo could at least let himself be trained with a special discipline. Nasti was certain the boy would shine, in some area, just like he's brilliant with his twin katanas.

"--Not everyone who goes to university aims to become a scientist like Touma, or a potential expert like Shu or Shin." He tried again. Ryo shook his head only. "...Seiji doesn't join." Ryo argued.

"Seiji has some other goals and responsibilities for the family, he always has!" Nasti lost his patience. 

Ryo's like been shocked by the rash tongue, looked up at him, and then looked away again, murmured, "...Exactly. Why couldn't I have some of those."

... ...

That was the conversation they had, before Nasti 's flight back to France. They were at the airport, where Nasti dragged him along alone.

Nasti has tried, Ryo thought. 

The half French, half Japanese scholar gave a lot of efforts to reach out for each and every one of them, as to play tennis with Shin and Touma, tasting through the restaurants in Tokyo and Yokohama with Shu, playing football with Ryo and Jun... and he's succeeded, to some extent -- Shu was persuaded to enrol a program in university, Jun's parents even considering to send the girl aboard for higher education. However, Ryo remains being detached, even been drawn back deeper in his mountains, a place Nasti cannot reach.

As the gap year Nasti's applied before leaving La Sorbonne came to end, the post-Doc has to return to the country where he's been raised up and built a life in. 

"If I don't know you have a spirit like the one in an ancient tale, which would wither to nothingness if cutting out of context, I will bring you away. "  
The young scholar said.  
"I'd like to bring both you and Jun away, after she graduated from High school of course. You can stay with me in the heart of the world, to experience it, to live in it."

Jun, the little girl following a skateboard during the attack in Shinjuku has become a teenager now, currently in her last year in Junior High and, as complained in letters, had to waste so many time in textbooks instead of spending them in Dojo or football field. 

Ryo seldom answers her letters.  
Shin berated him for this. However, Ryo didn't know what to say to Jun. He has neither sympathy for the girl's school life, nor is he eager to share his own mental odorous.   
There is nothing worthy to tell.   
The letters, however, haven't been discouraged by this silence and still came in like a current. The girl knows exactly that Ryo's not comfortable to answer, but still interested to hear, and she accepts this after been explained by Nasti.  
As a self-appointed mission to prevent Ryo being completely excluded from human civilization, Jun keeps sending over letters.

The girl will bloom, in Paris or here, as the new generation shall be, always be.

Ryo thought, clutching yet a new letter complaining about her English teacher.  
Ryo only smiled, sadly, then stood up to bid Nasti goodbye, receiving a kiss on the cheek and a single-armed hug from his elder friend.

\-----------------------------

Sometimes, Touma sees Ryo staying sitting up stark, staring at the distant stars.

"The scene will be completed -- if you pick up a cigarette." Touma drawls, sits down beside the raven head.

Ryo turns, staring at Touma for a moment, then says, "I don't need to smoke to feel good." he points to the stars, "They -- their existence, is enough."

Touma slaps his back, chuckling. "No way -- seriously, isn't me the one supposed to deliver a line like this? -- Wait, wanna a revisit of the space already?"

Ryo shakes his head, a little confused, "I can't ... really remember being there -- but are you saying that you can lift us there without the armour?"

Touma winces. They have leaven Susunagi's armour where it supposed to be, deep in the forest, down in the ocean, although the vague mental link connected them all doesn't seem to dissolve even without their crystals being around. "...Probably not. Not without my Orb, anyway. Just like Shin admits he couldn't make the Pacific-crossing without Suiko's Orb. You?"

Ryo bits his lip, frowns, as if experiencing some inner conflict.

Then, he opens his palm, and lets Touma watch closely.

A flame is dancing in the middle of it.

\--------------------------------

"I dreamed about Yojakai ..." Ryo begins, sounds hesitated.

Touma's eyebrows raise, but say nothing, waiting for Ryo to continue, and continue Ryo does.

"...In those dreams...our world becomes Yojakai, their rules ... become our world's routines, people -- human...fight every day to stay alive, to guard their charges and family, to barely act like a human. Everything they do, they know exactly the price to pay...."

"-- I mean, if there are black and white, in those dreams OUR world is the black. And us..." Ryo stops.

"We are the white... or rather, we are the opposite of our own world, we are the 'black' in that world. We fight against that routine, we try to start some new tradition, to establish new rules instead of following ---" Ryo stops again, but Touma, continues for him this time.

"--Instead of doing what we are supposed to do in that corrupted new-world, we are trying to start the renaissance of the old values and traditions."

Ryo nods, then, looking back to the moon again. "...I like those dreams."

He says.

"Damn right." Touma nods. "Me too. Much prefer to be the evil rebels than have to believe that we are the angels of justice."

He thinks Ryo would argue. The Ryo he knew, the 14 years old definitely would. The Ryo he met for the first time would definitely state that to become the herald of justice is the biggest honour possible for every decent human -- not just Ryo, Seiji, Shin, Shu would all claim so, even Nasti or Jun would do so, absent gods.   
Even HIMSELF would do so.

...But now, in the dark attic lightened up by dim starlights, Ryo only nods in agreement.

\-----------------------------

Shuten has once -- as he saw the way Ryo dealing with Yoja soldiers -- his blades were precise but not laced with menace or greedy for blood and control, his eye pure blue. Rekka was older than those "children" in Feudal era, for he's clearly already survived his Genbuku and First Battle -- yet still looked innocent with an expression of a sweet child.

\-- You kids in this modern era, Shuten murmuring, sadly, have the luxury to enjoy a childhood so long, like twilight in the summer.

\- What do you mean? Ryo frowned, which made Shuten even sadder.

\-- I envy you ...Never have to slaughter a fellow human being and showered in blood, have you? Shuten said.

As Touma wakes up Ryo from the nightmare, Shuten's words still ringing in his ears. Touma's sarcastic grin and genius concern echo Shuten's sad expression and gentle smile, hovering him as persistent as the nightmare themselves.

"...You were thrashing around." Touma says.

Ryo looks up. Touma's face is close, hands on his shoulders, looks ... normal, as if he's stating "Let's have dinner." As if nothing's just happened.

Feeling awkward and a bit ashamed, Ryo tiles his face away, let the falling hair cover his eyes. 

"...They are always there." he says, in a little voice.   
Me killing Arago, together with you guys, Seiji and Shin and Shu prisoned, hanging, suffering. The nightmares are always here with him.

But Touma lets out barking laughter. Falling down beside him, pillows his head on arms, looking at the opened window instead of preying.   
"...Happens to me a lot, too. Usually about how we actually killed you, together with the Yoja Emperor. Or been pursued by shadow soldiers, crowds of them, endlessly."

"--Touma."  
Ryo turns around, looking at Touma, regret and self-loathing all over his face. Touma slaps his nose, Ryo yelps in protest.

"--But then, after waking up, I was thinking, well, at least we have the privilege NOT to kill another living human being. All we fought are shades and spirits, corrupted, evil, sad. But not a real human. Other soldiers survived the war, they are not so lucky to claim the same."

Touma smiles, sadly, then questing because Ryo looks deep in thought. 

"...Ryo? Still here with me?"

"...Yeah. Yes. It's just..." Ryo bits his lip. "...Shuten."

"...The Masho. What has he done?"

"Shuten...said the same thing before...' You children in this era, how lucky you are. Have the luxury not to survive by cutting through bodies of real people.'"

They are silent now. Ryo levels up his face towards the windows.

"...I wish...I wish back then I could understand what he's talking about. Before he's-- "


	5. The Collectively Conjured Dream About You

The reason Touma has built a heating system is this winter's exceptionally cold.  
The coldest one in the last ten -- if not twenty years. Touma himself has never been bothered by snow or wind, but Ryo tends to be miserable in the stormy weather.

Luckily, winter does not only bring wet weather, winter also brings Christmas, the western holiday somehow has crawled into the younger generation's life. Together -- more as in finding some handy work for Ryo -- they bought back a tree with a trunk of ornaments for Ryo to decorate up the entire flat, even though nobody else's supposed to be there during the turning of year.

Students are released from the universities and heading home for the New Year, so does each and every one of his friends in Tokyo. Shu's going home to Yokohama and Shin to Yamaguchi, both only coming back after the New Year. Touma's home for Christmas in Osaka -- his Mom's taken holiday leaves, coming back from LA to celebrate his (late) birthday -- and only return to Tokyo for the New Year's Eve.

Touma was the one picked up glass balls and candle holders, and the one stuck fake snowflakes everywhere on the windows and sliding doors. However, Ryo showed off himself as the true fire-master by lighting up all tea candles at the same time: on bookshelves, tables, branches of their tree, lanterns on the balcony and in the kitchen, everywhere the candles placing, fire is dancing merrily, mischievously like a thousand golden suns in the dark. 

Touma was shocked for a second by the boasting display of power -- before letting out a string of laughter. "Oi, watch yourself, PYRE --"   
Ryo laughed for real, too, only made fire flicking brighter.

The smile drops immediately though, after Touma left on 23rd, simply because the flat is empty now and the smiling hasn't to be Ryo's default facial expression anymore.

\-- At least it is noisy so.   
Ryo weakens the lanterns and candles all over, listening carefully to their flickering.

\-- I wonder what is Byakuen's doing now, Somewhere in this world, or...?

The world is changing.  
It is harder to live in the deep mountains in Kai nowadays. Ryo knows, deep down, that one day he might have to move out into the human world completely, and by doing so lost contact with Byakuen, or, at least not be able to maintain the profound bond they used to share in the past. In fact, he hasn't seen Byakuen for months even before staying with the Huangs in Yokohama, and Byakuen's only there once during his staying in Kai after that Spring. 

The spirit of mountains is withdrawing from this world. 

\--And I have no choice but to remain. As a human, as a guardian no longer required. Ryo thinks, as bitter as he did in the very first time. I am left behind.

Outside the window clad in fake snow, the real snow starts to fall. Flake after flake, fluffy, thoroughly white, piercing, clenching like cold kisses of winter, together with the season's atmosphere, soon wraps the city into a dream they constructed.

Ryo watches this through the orange light in the room.

...Until suddenly, he heard steps stopping at the front door, and, then, the sound of keys dragging out.

The door has been opened. And Ryo would not misread the owner of those steps for a thousand years.   
...He's merely too shocked to react.  
In the dancing light of the fire, Seiji's golden hair glowing because of the wet snowflakes sticking to it.

Seiji releases the grip on the small suitcase, surprised visibly by the whole room's firelight. Everything's shining as if they were a dream conjured by the snowy night. Firelight softened Ryo's feature too, made that dark hair warmer.

"Ryo..." Seiji says.  
"...I've been waiting for you." Seiji says. The exact words Ryo said in his own dreams, while Seiji's struggling on the thin line between life and death.

As if been awaken, Ryo rushes to stand up, nearly knocks over a tall candle holder. Seiji smiles, steps over, reaching out an arm. Ryo grabs and lets himself been pulled up. The thing he feared and wanted most happens -- he's looking right into those sharp eyes, immersed in the warm light, calm as the glacier's ice sea, radiating.

"...Seiji." Ryo starts, bites his lip soon as he heard his own voice quivering. "...Why you...here?"

They are close. Ryo's hand still on Seiji' forearm and Ryo has to look up to keep the eye contact, to look at Seiji's delicate, stature like face. That sharp eye's wondrously clear, as brilliant as an impossible chance to return to the mountains and staying forever -- a treat Ryo would not exchange for almost everything in this world.   
...Seiji stays mercifully close, revealing no sign of letting him go -- actually, Seiji smiles, subtle but sure.

"Relax." Seiji says. The same words Seiji said when they woke up facing the savanna's midnight.   
"I will not leave you alone here."

\---------------------------------

Touma has piled up throw pillows and bean bags in the living room as well, before he left. I would be worried about the house to be burnt down, if it wasn't you living here. Touma smiled at Ryo. Indeed, the bear of Rekka died of fire kindled by candles would make the most hilarious joke of the century.

Right now, Seiji and Ryo are nestling in the pillow hill, Seiji hasn't even changed into more cautious clothes, still in his styled pants and shirt, only the top two buttons are open. Beside him, Ryo is a size smaller, hair ruffled spreading upon shoulders, still in his fuzzy pyjama.

"I would think this is a joke of Touma, had I not known he didn't even know my plan. "

Seiji chuckles, after taking in everything in the room: Ryo in his oversize knitted clothes; the tree and the room decorated with Christmas ornaments; fuzzy pillows; piles of books in subjects of Astronomy and Japanese History standing among bean bags, two GAMEBOYs and some catalogs about plants and insects scattering around piles of books... 

Ryo smiles, bashfully, "...Trying to find out what I am, to be out of the mountain."

"...Playing games as idea-inspiring must be Touma's suggestion."

Ryo snorts. "... His other more successful idea is stargazing. It's indeed calming, to stare into something that vast and deep."

"...Why Feudal era's history?"

Ryo frowns, bites his lip, disturbed. "...To look closer at our ancestors. The ideology behind those tales is troubling though...Seiji, do you know that Sanada Yukimura did not actually exist, wasn't a real person, but--"

"--A character in Edo era's novel?" Seiji 's eyebrow raises, "The family's real and they did have sons living in that era, although he's not the figure we as children think who actually is, naturally."

"...I was going to say, an idea."   
Ryo's eyebrows furrow deeply, then looking down at Seiji's surprised look. "...I mean, if the ideologies explained in those monologues are trustworthy, then the one named Sanada Yukimura's more like a conjured-up figure out of all those ideals regarding beauty and virtues, centuries after."

"...That's a surprisingly fresh opinion. To me, at least." Seiji says. Ryo tiles his head.  
"Sorry. I'm never that smart as you or Touma."

"But makes perfect sense." Seiji smiles. Ryo beams at him, face up-tiling, but soon frowns again. "I wonder if he knows what he is. If he was ever there."

"...Maybe others did not know either. Those 'real' person, lived as lords of their respective cities, meeting wishes and hopes of their underlings and ancestors. I doubt many of them know who they actually are, beyond the embody of other people's ideal and demands."

Seiji says calmly. Ryo blinks, then smiles, "...So, it means we are the same? Real person or not?"

"They are the same for us. We all are, more or less, ideas in others' mind." Seiji nods. "Real or not, they all leaven impact on us as we grew up. And to be real or not, I guess we all have to keep searching for our own shapes and walking paths in the world."

Slowly, Ryo beams, fire dancing in the ocean-deep eyes again. "...Seiji, how could you be here?"

"Ah. This was my original plan after all." Seiji smiles calmly, "It will not be appropriate for me to leave Sendai in the turning of the year. This Christmas season, however, is the only gap I could have before the New Year 's family union -- And this is the only place I want to be."

Ryo grins.

"...Want to know other things I learned from Touma's Uni library? There are interesting tales about Anubis and Shuten...."

\------------------------------------

Seiji and Ryo fall in sleep with tea lights surrounding, like staying in a cave, warm, safe and content. Their shoulders pressed into each other and Ryo leans into the contact, feeling Seiji's silk pants on his bare skin.

The last thing he remembers is the orange candlelight. Seiji is at his side. 

The next thing he knows, they are face to face, pressing into each other, Seiji's arm circling his waist and his hands grasping Seiji's small of waist.

\-- ...This is a dream. Ryo thinks. 

He sees Seiji shaking the head, face lowers and then they are kissing. 

\-- ...But is this my dream?

Ryo frowns, lets his lips been parted by tongue nudging, spreads his thighs open as if to swallow Seiji's body into his own. The air is damp, waving a little.

\-- This is weird. As if I'm not alone in my dream. Ryo thinks. And somehow, he heard Seiji's voice in his head.

\-- No. Because this is NOT YOUR dream.

\-- ...So. Are we... thinking about the same thing? Ryo pants, squirrelling a little at the caress from the nape down his spine, his legs automatically hold the body tangled with his.  
The blond hymns, licking the skin under his jaw. Ryo trembles, something hot and wet flares up from his stomach, somewhere inside feels empty, and Seiji's touch feels so far away, not close enough, never enough.

\-- Then...come in. Ryo moans, and then heard a chuckle.

\-- Relax. I doubt you even understand what you are asking. Seiji says, covers his protesting groan with a fierce kiss, and shoves in.

They wake up at Christmas Eve's white morning. The snow's still falling outside, reflecting light in the grey dawn. Seiji's still in his clothes. Ryo emits a sigh.

\-- ...It was a dream. 

Face blushing, Ryo thinks in frustration.

\-- No. It was not. 

...Seiji's eyes are sparkling mischievously. Ryo's eyes widen.

\-- You can hear me, can't you? Then it was not a dream.   
Seiji's hand closes over Ryo's bicep, voice clearly echoing in his mind, mouth unmoving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For me, personally, the entire idea about making this into a Xmas story started from a fan-picture: it looks like everyone's in a flat while outside's snowing, even Byakuen's in, and Ryo's in a baggy jumper (as always) looking out of the window...


	6. Try Again

"Have you ever considered to become a librarian?"   
Shin drawls out laughter, "Been through Touma's private collection and university's libraries yet? Any interest in mine?"

"Judging from the catalogues he's been through, it is only appropriate for Ryo to be in charge of four to five rows of shelves."  
Seiji says, calmly, whereas Ryo's busying filling cups with hot coffee and milk. 

"Stop being sooo rigid Seiji! He would be the head of those dammit libraries in no time!"   
Shu protests loudly. Everybody laughs.

Both Shin and Shu arrived at the 24th -- been kicked back by our own family -- as Shu shrugged and Shin explained. 

"Literally KICKED by those ungrateful brats!" Shu grumbled, "accusing me of abandoning their brother Ryo, demanding me to either go back Tokyo, or bring you up there with me." 

"--According to mine, I'm only needed for the New Year's Eve, not a day before it. And Shu, really, "   
Shin smiled all teeth, "Ryo's been invited by my family as well. Back off."

"You don't have four siblings and one mom crying for his presence!"  
Shu glared, to which Shin retorted, "Well. But my family never had a chance to meet Ryo personally, unlike yours who already did. Besides, some of my friends in the ocean are missing Ryo, too."

"-- I would advise against any of you going into the sea to meet up your friends Shin, not in this season." Seiji interrupted.

"Try your best then. Because I'm sure THE DATES are in the competition as well. "   
Shu grumbled. Seiji gave him a look, quietly returned to the glass of wine he was nursing.

Shin's thrilled to see Ryo finally developed an interest at academic topics, even volunteers to be the tutor for Ryo for entrance exams preparing -- of course, he could be gladly in charge of Ryo's selections of universities and interviews as well, especially if Ryo's intent to enrol in the next summer semester, they did not have much time left. 

That suggestion's laughed at by Shu. Why couldn't Touma be the tutor? Touma's doubtless the smartest among us all, plus Professor Hashiba also has connections with other Professors at universities. 

To that Shin snorts, pointing out that Touma isn't a better tutor than him exactly BECAUSE he's the smartest, actually, often too smart for anyone else to follow.   
"And that, would be a frustration for both of them, for they are both hotheads. Besides, Ryo can move in my apartment, it's larger and can provide him with more space to study in focus. I rent that mansion for all of us, remember? This way, Ryo would have his own room instead of crushing in the attic."

Shu, however, states his clear doubt about Ryo studying any subjects he was currently reading on, and despite been snarled by Shin, Shu for once delivers a surprisingly strong argument about how reading books in leisure time is quite different from committing rest of your life working in that study field. 

If anything, Shu insists stubbornly Ryo should practice on something more intuitive and old fashioned, such as the sword ceremony Seiji performs as a trainer, or to become a classical dance performer.

Ryo spits the water out at the last suggestion. 

Shu then boasts loudly that Really! He isn't talking nonsense! Anyone would agree with him had they watched Ryo wielding his twin katanas, bleeding shame that they don't need samurai in the modern world any more. "Because Ryo's skill's dreadfully graceful. Ain't you agree, our dojo master here?" 

Shu nudges Seiji. The blond sword master frowns first at the phrase "no longer needed" but nods firmly later, abide a little absent-minded.   
Shu looks slightly offended.   
"Come on Seiji. Say your mind out loud. You know you have to agree with me!"

"I do. As a matter of fact, my grandfather did so too." Seiji finally says, Shu yells triumphantly, Shin smiles. 

"-- However, Ryo's stanzas are less ceremonial than they are practical in battle --" Seiji starts.

"-- Who cares! The audience wouldn't tell!"

Seiji adds one more sentence in Shu's happy cry.

"-- Indeed. On the other hand, the Dates ancestors wouldn't care about which career the brothel of the Heir is pursuing outside the family. My father, for instance, used to be a police officer as he married my mother -- although it must also be taken into account that my mother's duty to family is to bear the Heir instead of becoming one herself---"  
...  
The room's deadly silent as Seiji stops, Shu looks at the blond with an expression screaming out disbelief. Seiji quirks an eyebrow at him. "What is so incredible of my explanation?"

He even takes another sip out of the glass holding, which Shu finds very inappropriate.  
"...Seiji! Ryo -- Are you two --" Shu stumbles, unable to continue, Shin sighs.

"...I think the word Shu's searching for is 'Are you two involved romantically, to the extent that you are considering getting married any soon' ... although judging from Ryo's face right now, I guess it is news to him too..."

"It is." Seiji admits calmly. "I was intended to approach him with the idea later. It simply slipped out as Shu pressed me for opinions about a potential career."

"-- Hey! It's not my fault and nobody should ask anyone's hand in such a disgraceful way! Besides! It's not the point ---"

Seiji cuts off Shu's protest. "-- Although we do not have chance to discuss it, we do have mental connections over dreams or meditation, which, Ryo, I believe that you must have felt the same as well."

Like it was in this morning. Ryo could read the unsaid.   
Seiji's eyes are scotching as thunderbolts, in the candlelight, under the gaze like that, Ryo feels his face burning.   
He has suspected that the intimacy they shared is not as simple as dreams on unrequited desire, however, when Seiji simply asserts like this --

"-- Seiji. We all can see the bond you share, however, a marriage, or at least a romantically bond is not exactly the same as what you have --"   
Shin tries to bring some common sense into the awkward situation, since Shu's physically petrified already.   
But Seiji dismisses him with a raising hand.   
"-- The social sense of marriage is not in my concern right now. And I trust it would not be in Ryo's either. The most important meaning of this ritual is to spend the rest of your life with the person you care the most or shared the deepest bond, as ours shall apply now."

"-- It's hardly the common sense of marriage." Shin's groaning. 

Seiji only takes another sip from his tea. 

"It depends on us whether to obey that common sense or not. Ryo. Listen to only your heart. Would you honour our bond and pursue a deeper one with me together?"

Ryo blinks, biting his lip.   
Then, slowly, he reaches out one hand, which Seiji takes immediately and laces their fingers together.   
Seiji's smiling, the violet eye shining like a nebula in space, whereas the barely hidden blue eye like the clearest sky. 

Fire starts to flame in Ryo's sea-deep eyes again. Ryo beams, and nods firmly.

\-------------------------------------

Later, without sharing with their friends, Shin and Shu wonder if any of those two knows that as a couple, they are supposed to have sex with each other. Or even if they do, any of those actually knows how to proceed.

\------------------------------------

Touma pushes the front door open on the Christmas day's morning, bursting into laughter as he sees the crowded living room: the only two futons are laid out in the floor and all four of his friends managed somehow piling on them, around them are empty bottles, cups, snack-packages, books and the tree. 

"Wake-- up--" Touma drawls, "the white morning's cool and splendid and --" 

He trails off, watching as the others pushing themselves out of duvets, a sly smile spreading on his lips. "...And apparently I've missed the coming-out, too. Dammit. Should persuade the old woman to meet up in Tokyo instead."

Ryo's face flushes. Shu's eyes widen. "How did you know -- Why nobody's told me before?"

"Might because my eyes are on a person's behaviours, instead of on food."   
Touma rolls his eyes fondly, joining others in the group crowd and slings out both arms on Seiji and Ryo's shoulders. "So Haaappy Christmas! How far did it go?"

If it is possible, Ryo's face becomes redder. Seiji shrugs off Touma's arm, who just circles both arms around Ryo's shoulders instead. "Are we preparing for a ceremony in winter yet, Pyro? Where are you going to live now?"

Ryo drags off Touma's arms, Touma's smirk ceases as he sees how sober Ryo's facial expression's like. The raven head opens his mouth soon, voice serious and clear. "Could be anywhere, Tokyo, or elsewhere, it doesn't matter. " Ryo takes in a long breath, flashes a nervous smile since everyone 's attention's on him now.   
"I need your help to enrol a program."

"I want to be a veterinarian. Or a safe-guardian-dog trainer."

"...That's the resolution you got from a proposal?" Touma's jaw drops. 

"More like the result of our profound mental bond."   
Seiji says without missing a beat. To which Touma groans, "You -- waste your superpower NOT on dirty activities but on career path consulting? What's wrong with you guys?"

\------

Seiji and Shin left on 30th morning, whereas Shu took a train on the same day's afternoon. Ryo and Touma were left to spend the New Year in Touma's house. 

There were days in between, all five of them spreading out catalogs of veterinary practices, safe-guardian dogs training institutes, maps... all over Touma's living room, browsing through Internet (Touma) for program's informations and finally, narrowed down their targets to a shortlist of programs scattered in Great Tokyo circle, Yamanashi and Hokkaido for Ryo to check out. Shin even made revision plans ready for entrance exams.

Despite the fact been dizzily busy, there were also many hours they spent, between research, talking and joking, sharing interesting things they have encountered individually: Ridiculously happy people in Kansai whom Touma met, news all over the world coming from Touma's mom, unknown routes in Yojakai where Ryo took during the lone wandering, and some photos taken by Ryo's Dad.   
Also, although Ryo's cooking 's deadly and Seiji's culinary skill non-exists, other three are capable or even excellent cooks. For once, Touma's flat filled with a delicious smell.   
Think about what you can eat, if you choose to remain in Tokyo and stay with me. Shin winked. Shu and Touma protested, so Shin extended his invitation -- or rather repeated his original one all over again -- the mansion was rent for ALL of us in the first place! Now come move in!

To the astonishment of the other three, neither Ryo or Seiji expressed wish to have some private time. They slept side by side on the shared futons, exactly like they all did in the old days. That's all. Hands holding, arms around each other's waists. Guys. You are not -- asexual as it reported in science journals? Touma blunted out once, Ryo blushed and Seiji threw him a dismissive look. 

Only after everyone left, when there're only Touma and Ryo left in the house, Touma manages to get some "limited level information" out of a face flushed Ryo's broken words. Apparently, they could share each other's feelings through an emphatic bond established through crystals, to which Ryo's deeply tuned to. The merge of emotion usually happens when Seiji's in his meditation session or when they are asleep -- the merge is aggressively active when they are asleep with physical contact.

"... Absent gods. You just said you can fuck in dreams for real." Touma lets out a shaky sign, almost thoughtfully."...Human's technology on virtual reality would have decades to catch up with such handy function."

Ryo throws a pillow at him for such a crude description.

"Come on. Tell me that's never happened and I will stop." Touma smirks. And as he sees Ryo's face tinted as if he's on high fever again. The smirk turns into a burst of howling laughter.

"Seriously, do you think we could have an orgy if all of us sleep together grasping out crystals? -- Hey! Ryo! I was joking!"

Too late. Ryo escapes to the attic, hiding in there till the end of 31st, only awkwardly shows himself because of Touma's whining for being alone for the last bloody day of the year.   
Two of them sitting at the two sides of one door. Back to back, Touma whines for real and Ryo reaches out with mental force, building a link between them, just like they all did as they destroyed Kikoteis for good. Not clear enough for Touma to deliver any words, but enough for him to send the apology over, deliberately laced with thick loneliness.  
Soon, the door opened.

\-- Ryo could vaguely remember, as he left the mountain, this metropolis smelled like empty death to him. Slowly though, the existence of others, Seiji's especially, like a faint humming keeps existing in back of his mind, grounded him, carrying him through the dread void of the concrete city in this world and haunting chantings of lost souls in the other.  
... And maybe, also through the hard lost days to come.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by snarkydame's To Fall in Snow, Still Burning. Oh and, Shu's suggestion for Ryo to become a dancer? That's a random salute to the wonderful The Mountain of the Rightful Emperor by pentapus.  
> (I went to Wulingyuan because of that fic.)


End file.
